Thursday, May 26, 2011

"With the possible exception of the equator, everything begins somewhere."

It has been a very busy few days here in Houston.

Tuesday was my birthday. It included running errands, getting lost downtown, lunch with dear friends at the Hobbit Cafe, moving some things into my new home, and dinner with some of my family. The second half was lovely, the first half... not so much.

The day started poorly when I woke up in a state of mild panic. For some reason, as I was sleeping comfortably, a horrible thought entered my mind...

I have no idea what the hell I am doing.

Please forgive my harsh language, but apparently the half-asleep and completely stressed version of myself is not the best at editing those types of words from her vocabulary.

Anyway, I was laying there in bed when I realized that, in just over 24 hours, I would be somewhere completely new, working with a bunch of people I had never met, and sharing a house (and a room) with total strangers.
What was I thinking when I applied for this job??
I wasn't even completely sure what "this job" would look like, for goodness' sake!
Again- panic.

You see, one of the perks I have experienced in having an awesome twin sister is that I have always had a back-up friend around. So in the few instances in life when I was going somewhere new- college, for instance- I always had a friend close by. (This has only failed me once- in middle school- and that story is too traumatic (read: pathetic) for me to relive here. Maybe I'll tell you someday if you ask, but it might make you cry for the 11-year-old-me. And by that I mean laugh at the current me.)
To make this whole built-in-best-friend thing even better, my sister is really personable and great at meeting people, so she can do the work to make a ton of new friends and I can reap the benefits of her efforts. It's awesome. I'd compare it to the relationship between a shark and a remora, but that seems like a slightly flawed analogy.

But back to Tuesday. I realized that, for the first time ever in my life, I would be left alone to make new friends and have new experiences. Which might be ridiculous to admit since I'm 24 these days, but whatever. Deal with me.

So I'm panicking.
I'm lying in bed with all of these thoughts racing through my head, when, fortunately, I recalled a Mark Twain quote I came across recently. He once brilliantly said the following:

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the thing you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."

When I read this, it really resonated with me because, I'll admit it, I'm a little bit of a chicken. New things frighten me just a little bit, and the thought of missing out on great adventures because of that fear frightens me even more. It's awful.

And even though this might not be an extreme adventure (I'm only sort of in a new place; I did grow up less than an hour away from here), it is something different. I am sailing into the unknown- even if it's on a slow tugboat instead of a quick... whatever kind of boat is really sleek and fast and awesome-looking.
And that is exciting! (When I stop thinking about how it's terrifying.)

So I'll start with this small adventure, and after this I'll have more! I'll be starting graduate school (Lord help me) and working in a completely new city with a lot of new people for my internship. And then maybe I'll do something even crazier after that! The world is my oyster!
(I literally use that phrase every time I have the opportunity.) My life might be ordinary, but I definitely intend to have as many adventures as possible. Which I think sometimes means just looking at things a little differently and recognizing the adventures I'm already in the midst of- even if they are small.

So that's how I'm feeling now. Mostly excited, still a little nervous, and also a little bit overwhelmed. Yesterday was the first day of training on the new job, and holy cow... it was long. We have a manual that appears to have approximately 10 million pages in it. I think it weighs as much as I do.
I'd update you on everything from yesterday, but I feel like this post is already revoltingly lengthy. Plus I have to hold something over your heads to make sure you check back here every once-in-a-while. So, just to keep you on your toes, in my next entry I'll write about exciting things like drug testing, manual reading, and CPR training!
Alright, none of those things sound like they'll make interesting stories, but I am pretty sure I'll be able to squeeze a few out of CPR training at the very least. Our teacher was something else...
So stay tuned!
And have a great (and adventurous!) day!

1 comment:

  1. i love reading this, mostly because i can hear you saying it.

    ReplyDelete