Monday, May 23, 2011

Drug Tests and the DPS

Well, as is often the case when I'm trying to get a lot of things done, I had a frustratingly unproductive day today. And not because of a lack of effort on my part. Here's the scoop.
I need to get a basic drug test for my school internship that starts this fall. Since I'll be working in Ft. Worth, my employers sent me a form to get tested at some clinic up there. The problem, however, is that I am currently living about 5 hours south of Ft. Worth.
I asked if I could just get the test done somewhere closer to home, my employer said yes, and I thought I was good to go. But how wrong I was. How very, very wrong.
The other day I spend at least 30 minutes on the phone being transferred from person to person til I was back where I was started, just so I could be told that the clinic I usually go to here does not offer the drug test I need.
On the upside, they were nice enough to tell me about a different place nearby that offers the test. And, since I was still in Waco at the time of this eternal phone call, I was able to go get frozen yogurt (which will henceforth be called froyo any time I mention it) afterward to ease my anger a bit.
This failed attempt did annoy me a bit, but it was much better than today.
Not long after that happened I set up an appointment at the lab they suggested. My appointment was scheduled for this morning at 9:15- which meant that my other errand for the day would have to wait. More on that later.
When I arrived at this lab and got stuck in what, at the time, I thought was a long line. The lady up front was taking forever. But eventually I made it up there. I signed in, and not long afterward they called me up. I was feeling good about how it was going until the receptionist said "Do you have your registration forms?"
"....Umm... what?"
"Your registration forms. We can't perform the test unless we have forms from your employer. Did they give you any?"
She sent me back to my seat and told me to hurry and scan through my email to see if I was wrong. To make a long story short, I wasn't. So about an hour after I entered the building, I left without passing the stupid drug test.
Because they wouldn't let me take it.
I'm still not sure why I couldn't take it anyway, but apparently no one is allowed to screen themselves for drugs unless a higher power tells them to. Go figure.
So once again, I am frustrated after trying to get things taken care of for this drug test. But this time I couldn't go get froyo. Ohhh no. Instead, I had to go to...
The DPS.
And let me tell you, nothing makes me feel like a terrible Christian quite like waiting in line at the DPS.
And wait I did.
For more than



And how long was I in the back getting my license renewed? Less than 4 minutes.
Yes. I timed it.
It was awful. I was stuck in front of a woman who- based on her phone conversations- was selling illegal copies of workout DVDS, and I was facing a woman who- based on her outfit, iPad, pink sparkly iPhone case and, again, her phone conversations- could easily be on an episode of Real Housewives of Houston. At one point, I heard her say to her friend on the other line "I mean really... This place it Hell! I should take a picture and show you the people sitting around me. I shouldn't have to be here!"
Apparently she thought we were all both diseased and deaf.
Anyway, I made it out of that place moments before I lost my sanity. But it drained me of any motivation I had to get other things done. Like getting my oil changed, which I guess I'll have to do tomorrow.
So there you have it, folks. Another day of adventures for me. But the real adventure begins soon! I'm about to consolidate my packing and get things organized to move downtown tomorrow! I won't be staying there yet- just moving my stuff in before I start work on Wednesday morning. But I'm (still) pumped!
Thus ends my most boring post yet. I'm sorry.
Kaley out.


  1. bahahaha..."nothing makes me feel like a terrible christian quite like waiting in line at the DPS." --NICE

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