Thursday, May 12, 2016

One Week. Maybe.

Well... we're one week out.

Hopefully.               Maybe.              We'll see.

A lot of people have asked me how I'm feeling with our court date being so close, but honestly- I haven't been thinking about it that much. Thinking about the adoption generally? The relief I'll feel when I'm J-Bear's official mom? The excitement of getting to share good news with friends and family? Yes. Constantly.

But the court date itself? Not so much. 

Really, I've been trying not to think too much about it- because I don't want to worry too much about it. Or set myself up for too much disappointment.

Even now- seven days out- things are still so uncertain.

There's a chance that- by the end of the day next Thursday- the government will recognize me as my son's mom.

There's also a chance our hearing won't happen at all.

Or it will happen, but the judge will request additional time to make her decision.

Or she will want us to gather more information.

Or probably some other scenario I haven't thought of. 

There's no telling. But I'm definitely hoping for the 1st option. 

Honestly, though, right now I feel pretty content in this waiting stage. While I certainly don't want to be in it forever, I have a sense that what I'm hoping will happen will in fact happen- it's just a matter of when. Obviously, I don't know that for sure. But I am hopeful and optimistic.

In the meantime, I've been trying to focus just on what I can control in the present. I don't want to worry so much about the "what's next" that I miss what's right in front of me. So I'm taking it day by day, trying not to dwell too much on next Thursday specifically, and feeling a somewhat surprising amount of peace.

Now, if you check in with me on Wednesday, I might be a little more like Leslie Knope.


But right now- today- I am holding up well. And choosing to practice gratitude- for my time with J-Bear, our story together, the exciting things that are yet to come, and for all the people (like you) who care about our journey. 

Thanks for venturing with us. Hopefully I'll have some more news soon.

8 comments:

  1. We are adopting our foster daughter next Thursday too! I read your article on The Archibald Project's site -- sooo good. Thank you for what you said about the birth moms. So many times we forget about their side, what they must be feeling and what they are dealing with. I will be praying that everything goes the way you want it to go next week and J-Bear will be officially your child. My wife and I can totally relate with the (maybe?) stage. Peace to you this week!

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    1. Hi! Sorry I'm just now responding- I was kind of a bundle of nerves after writing this post. Thank you so much for reading- this and my post for The Archibald Project! It was such an honor to write for them and express my thoughts and feelings about biological families. I can't pretend like I understand their experiences, but- for the sake of the kids I care for- I certainly want to try! I never want to lose empathy for and awareness of their stories.
      Thank you for your prayers, too! The adoption was finalized, and I am just over the moon (even though it feels like nothing has really changed). How did your adoption go?? I hope it went smoothly, too! Blessings on the start of such an exciting chapter of your family's story!! :)

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  2. Prayers for you and your sweet boy that the i's become dotted and the t's become crossed officially.

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    1. Thank you so much for your prayers!! It's been so exciting to have things official. I've been so grateful for all the support we've received, so thank you for sharing yours!! :)

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  3. I found you through your episode for your home and now just pulling for your family and court date!

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    1. Thank you so much for seeking us out after watching the show! It's been so humbling to see the ways people have engaged with and cared about our family story. It was a blessing to be on the show, but it's certainly continued since then! :)

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  4. My wife and I successfully adopted our daughter today also, and right after you! Was cool seeing a Fixer Upper celeb :D!

    Congratulations on you and your family's victory!

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    1. Oh my goodness- what a small world!! Congratulations on your adoption, as well! Glad we get to share such a special day!! :)

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