Sunday, March 20, 2016

Adoption Status Update

Wow! What a week it has been!

Our Fixer Upper episode aired on Tuesday evening, and we have been flooded with such incredible support ever since!    

Fun fact- before I went to the farm for this meeting, I a) sloppily trimmed my own bangs and b) discovered my car was broken into overnight. In case the person who stole my old iPod is reading this- that thing is too old to be worth much, so if you could return it, that'd be great. It stored my entire collection of Celine Dion's greatest hits, so my in-car karaoke has suffered tremendously.
Another fun fact- despite the smile on the left-me's face above, I was a nervous wreck watching myself on TV. I think I'm going to write about it sometime, because seriously- it was crazy.
Honestly, I’ve been shown tremendous love and kindness since the very beginning of this Fixer Upper adventure. Obviously there were Chip, Jo and their incredible team- who put such passion and thoughtfulness into designing my home. Then there was the crew, all of whom were incredibly encouraging and gracious- in spite of my awkwardness while filming. 
Just to be clear- I'm the three guys in this scenario.
Then there was my sister and friends organizing the GoFundMe to help cover renovation and adoption costs. (If you saw the episode, let me just tell you- that surprise was real. I was so confused and overwhelmed by it in the moment, and I am still trying to wrap my mind around it- so many feelings!) 
And then there are the thousands of people who have taken the time to follow our story here and/or on Instagram, many of whom have left such kind comments or sent thoughtful messages. And honestly- that means so much to me. 
Seriously, though.
The fact that thousands of people I’ve never met saw me for about 15 minutes on an episode of Fixer Upper and decided my life with Little Man is worth investing in- it’s incredibly humbling.

I once heard a quote from Scott Adams (the cartoonist who created Dilbert, of all people) that says, “Remember, there’s no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end.” That has become so evident to me in the past 6 days.

So thank you. And please know that your kindness has not gone unnoticed or unappreciated. I am so, so grateful.

In a lot of the comments  and messages I’ve received, people have asked whether or not I’ve been able to adopt Little Man yet, so I wanted to write a quick post to catch everyone up on where things stand currently.

But first I’ll have to rewind a little bit.

When I picked Little Man of from the hospital almost 18 months ago, I thought he would only be with me for a few months- four at most. But, without going into too much detail about his biological family’s story, things started to shift as the months passed. While they still hoped to be reunified with him, the reality of that being possible seemed less and less likely.

Now in a “normal” foster care situation, CPS would be involved and assessing the likelihood of re-establishing permanency with the biological family. They are actually required to hold permanency hearings within a child’s first year in care. However, Little Man was placed voluntarily, so CPS isn’t involved at all- meaning there’s no one who is obligated or able to advocate for legal action at this point. Except for me, that is. I wrote a little bit about this decision in a previous post, but- long story short- I contacted a lawyer to begin the process at the end of last summer. And, although in some ways it seems like a fairly cut and dry case, we’ve hit a lot of road bumps. Naively, I didn’t except the process to take this long. But we’re still in the midst of it, and we don’t have a clear end date in sight. (I am hoping it could be sometime this summer, but it seems like any amount of progress we make is immediately met with new roadblocks, so there are no guarantees.)

So for now, we’re waiting. We’ve met with the ad litem, completed the adoption home study, and taken all the steps we can at this point, so we’re really just stuck until the next door opens.

It’s frustrating to feel powerless in these moments. But it makes the support and encouragement we’ve received in the past week all the more meaningful to me right now.

So please keep us in your thoughts and prayers in the days ahead. I’m working on being patient, and trying to live in the moment with gratitude rather than wishing the next one would just hurry up and get here already.

And please keep Little Man’s biological family in your thoughts and prayers, as well. Little Man and I pray for them every night, and we ask they’d be filled with courage, comfort, strength and hope. The grief this process will inevitably cause for them- regardless of the final ruling- is not lost on me.  

I will, of course, continue to update here when there is progress, so if you want to keep up with it, be sure to follow me here or Instagram. Or just bookmark this and come back periodically if that’s more your style. You do you.


Again- thank you for journeying with us while we wait in the days and months ahead. As long as they sometimes feel, I know they are short. And there truly aren’t enough words to describe how grateful I am for your presence in the midst of them.

1 comment:

  1. Best wishes on your journey. We are rooting for you in Helena Montana!

    ReplyDelete